Think of all the times you've had, write them in a letter that says 'goodbye'

This post will not humor, but it will enlighten. Perhaps even awake you from your state of ennui. I just want to explain the hazards of being content with your life. Because from now on, while I may enjoy my life, I will never become content again. Because things and people, like seasons, do change. However, unlike seasons, you cannot count on them to come back around again. As I became more content I became more stagnant and did less and less (other than those things that made me content). However those things started changing. High school ended. Friends moved away. College started. Every phase of my life has been different yet I haven't treated them like that. I've expected the same things to continue and count as much as they have in the past. They don't. It caused me to ruin a relationship and prevent solid friendships. It leaves me wondering now what has happened to this fairy tale I had been living? My life of leisure had become turbulent and I did not know how to handle it- because all along I had not being questioning everything and furthering my development. My mind did not develop as it should have- neither did my emotions, because I still am attached to a life that had disintegrated long ago. As my blog is my witness, this is an internal reflection of how I feel now. The realization that certain friends won't be around next semester, that certain friends won't be around this summer, and that someone else won't be around ever again struck a chord with me today and it is my intention to keep it reverberating until death. Never again with I confuse content with happy. Right now I'm happy, but I am not content and won't ever be.


I feel this is an important quote from the book I am currently reading.
"It is neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never question anything"- Catch 22

music: coheed and cambria

Tucker Max drunk

On Tuesday I was introduced to Tucker Max by a friend of mine. It's Sunday morning now and I think Tucker Max has created a monster. To sum up Tucker Max in 1 word would be an injustice to the man, however, that is exactly what I'll do: asshole. He is rich, smart, and has cool friends (sounds like me). Except Tucker Max degrades, defies, defiles and desecrates with his degenerative behavior everyone within earshot. Read his stories- they are amazing-even wicked funny- but I am warning you of the consequences. I have had a hangover every day this week, due to excessive drinking in an effort to get to my 'Tucker Max Drunk' level. While there have been positives- being boisterous and assertive has lead to an increase in breast grabbing, there have also been negatives. True to Tucker Max, I shall list them as he does (column on the left side, skipping a line with a dash)

-Very Expensive

-Cuts on my hand

-Spilled snakebite all over some guy on his white shirt at a bar

-Caught a cold (feel like shit)

-Pissed off many people on AOL and through email, as I have a tendency to send drunk IMs or emails

-Embarrassed to wake up and walk into the kitchen at 2pm to hear about what I did last night- I'd prefer to remember it myself


There you have it. While many people believe getting shitfaced and being an asshole can only lead to better things I can assure you and them that while that is usually the case there certainly are exceptions.

music: i am always listening to modest mouse
for the brave souls....http://www.tuckermax.com read the stories

If I'm a chicken, you're a turkey carver

Oh wait, that was me carving turkey last night in front of lots of Brits. For those of you wondering, my Thanksgiving here in the land we escaped from was splendid. $240 later we had turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, rolls, Yorkshire puddings and like 10 pies, ALL MADE FROM SCRATCH!! Yes, and cheap Spar brand wine. All in all, a great night, because after eating we proceeded to play ESPN track and field for like 3 hours and it is an amazing video game where you get to lift weights, swim, run, jump, and do gymnastics which is set up like DDR or pump it up and is great. What a game, I could go on forever talking about it.

Now, on to more important things. Last year I was thankful for the Timberwolves. They played with passion. With desire. They were hungry and aggressive...and won fucking games! This year I'm thankful to be overseas so I'm not subject to their debauchery on TV because obviously i'd have to watch it and i'd get so pissed i'd most likely have an ulcer or other internal injury. Or psoriasis from drinking away the pain of watching them, AHHHH I HATE IT!!! I USED TO LOVE BASKETBALL!!

music: atmosfuckingphere

Fuckity Fuck

This will make you cry.

About a week ago I read online that drinking water was good for you. In addition, as we all know, too much of a good thing is a great thing. Thus, without considering the devastating consequences I started drinking water. Lots of water. About 10 Nalgenes a day full. See, I sit in my room working or sleeping or watching family guy or drinking beer and there is a sink so hey- I can fill my bottle up while moving as few as 3 muscle groups. I basically live in water- call me a fish. Call me Kyle the tuna, or Flounder Kyle. Or Nemo. I even read online that consumption of derisory amounts of water can lead to natural highs until now only attainable to runners, R. Kelly(have u seen his face in the piss on you video?) and drug users. With my trusty nalgene- a bona fide first mate- and an endless supply of H2O I embarked on my journey to dampen my sense of reality through ingestion of nature's piss...i mean tears. Anyway, things have been going grrrrrreat! However, my use of however here should indicate that this story takes a turn for the better...i mean wetter...i mean worse. See, I had grown a nice beard over the past 2 months. But all good things do come to an end and I felt it that day as I woke up- our symbiotic relationship had become parasitic- it had to go. 30 Minutes later I wondered who that sexy man in the mirror was. What better to way to celebrate than with a refreshing glass of water? Ahh sooooo gooood. But before to long that familiar feeling was sneaking up on me again- I was going to have to piss. What you may not now is this equation, dubbed KyleandMikesandMattsandGrahamsandPaulsandreallyeveryguy's sum. Add 1 part single room, 1 part sink, 1 part 'bathroom a long way away' and 4 parts laziness and what do you have? A sink that doubles as a toilet! But, while relieving myself I realized there was a big problem- it wasn't going down! Blast! My bearded sink refused to drain. I was crushed. Later I had a conversation with graham that went something like this:

Me: my sink doens't drain anymore, my life is over.
Graham: that sucks. do you have any nair? or a plunger? How about draino?
Me: I think liquid plummer foaming pipe snake would work best in this situation.

So if you have any of those, you know, let me use some.

Ralph J. Miguel

Hola. Hey-remember when hooking up was easy? In the past month some of the best stories of my life have been created. However, with the good comes the bad. Out of respect for anyone who reads this I will skip the juicy details however two Carletons in a row...produced. And you know the feeling when you wake up, it's something like this, "man once she leaves i'll never have to deal with that again". Well, experience says that's not true. I met one of them in Amsterdam a few weekends ago and luckily for me I was so stoned I didn't remember my name...let alone hers. But if I knew what language they spoke in Amsterdam AND knew how to speak it(and spell it) the word for awkward would probably be something like geehhgsleststrand. However, when compared to my present situation that's like dinner from 2 nights ago- forgotten. See, outside my door now are friends and housemates of one lucky lady who I knew pretty well one night (not too) long ago. Do they remember me? I dunno, they were drunk then and are drunk now...but so am I, and I remember them. Funny part: I told them my name was Ralph J. Miguel. And the sign on my door says 'Kyle'.

In this life like weeds

This NBA fight was insane. What were they thinking? To quote the prophet jc

jc13731: dude, that was unreal
jc13731: i'll bet that if they had gone to college, none of that would've happened
jc13731: but they're still mad niggerish

True dat brother. And when I say brother, I don't mean, like, an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it. Which is more meaningful I think.

Next on the agenda...the face book. what's the deal with it? As someone who is always up for anything that can distract or disrupt real, solid, actual work, i'm surprised I have not yet checked it out. To say I am frightened would be an understatement, however, much like physics, I'm sure it'll be something I'll eventually have to do. Also, I heard a rumor that Arafat died of psoriasis, which is a liver condition caused by drinking. I have also heard that his religion or something something did not allow drinking. Any of this true? Educate me!

current music: Modest Mouse

Keira Knightley

Yes she is hot. Yes she lives in England. Yes I am in England, too. No, I haven't seen her...yet.

So last night I had a dream where two of my friends from home (Flirt andTejada) came to England, but not to visit me. I randomly bumped into them and we said hello and then I had to go back to Uni for class. So I guess that means something-maybe they don't actually like me! Also, I dont want to think about it because i still feel sick(and its 11pm) but last night i consumed way too much alcohol and got way sick and in the words of ali g, i'd like to big up my man graham for somehow getting me home, and say respect, fo real, to both Graham for that, and paul for being almost as drunk and stupid as I was. Today I felt so shitty that I left myroom for 1 shit, a can of chili, and a bowl of cereal. That's about 15 minutes. The rest of the day I was in bed downloading and watching simpsons, family guy and south park. not bad....minus the vomitty feeling. oh ya, and i didnt make it to class. My feeling is although I fucked over class and and didnt do shit all day it was productive. I think days like this, again minus the vomitty feeling, are few and far between and ought to be cherished like a late night meal of french toast sticks, curly fries and oreo milkshake from J in the B. w00t!

current music: tenacious d

This is food for thought- you do the dishes

It's so good to be back here, rapping at ya. It's been a while, as we both know. I'm trying to avoid just listing what I did each day because
1. A lot of it is boring or repetitive
2. Some of it could contain explicit content
3. I often times regret doing it and writing about it only makes that worse

However, each and everyday is great and super sleuth Kyle McEidsness is always able to find a few good things about the day. But I digress into a story from a land far far away in a time long ago- St Louis Park High School, senior year ('01-02). There was this one cat who had particular difficulties communicating due to his auditory deficiencies...I shall call him Joel. Well Joel would often participate in our thrice daily games of hearts ( for despite Joel's plethora of knowledge he could not play spades...perhaps because communication was involved?) Every time something happened...a card was played, some took the Queen, the cards were dealt, Joel would erupt with, "That's SO uncanny", his apparent excitement derived from the fact that in the last game someone had taken the Queen, or delt the cards! Ludicrous! Thus, whenever I hear the word uncanny, images of Joel flash through my head like like drugs through Robert Downy Jr.

I heard someone say uncanny yesterday.

kfly

BLGSCI123A- INTRO TO BLGPSTS

The above is an example of how UPS lists classes for registration. Sometimes I am surprised to find out what I signed up for. Can you imagine how I felt walking into ADV ORAL EXPRSN for the first time? NOT what I expected(It's a French class....man, some people have all the fun). Ironically, while UPS can offer such compelling classes as Applied Analysis of Physical Assessments (Hmm...after an hour of intense running you were tired and sweaty...not good. Not good at all) why couldn't they find some time for something relevant to almost everyone- Intro to Blogposts. Throw it in the center for writing and learning (and blogging). Give me .25 credits. or something. Thus, In honor of everyone who has ever bloged, bleged or blaged...here is my first blog entry and it happens to be a complaint about long away message lyrics. It's one thing to quote the great Snoop Dizzle -'Sippin' on Gin and Juice...hit up the cell' but the entire JLo album? Here's a hint...if no one LISTENS to it they sure as hell aren't going to READ it.

That is my post and I can seriously exhale and relax now, for I have never been known for my sang-froid- yet I feel like I passed this initial blogger exam. Separated the boys from the bloggers. Anyway, I notice 2 things as I look to conclude this monumental event. First, my spell check does not work so while I have been careful to spell eveythign grood, it may not alwys be like this. Secondly I do not see a thing for posted my current mood and music, which must be on a competitors blog thingy(can i even mention that here??) so just always assume my mood is awesome and upbeat and i will add the music at the end. like this:

currently listening to: Lloyd Banks. uhhhhhhh

finally, before I go...free gmail account to first person to post a comment... OH YA