Fuckity Fuck

This will make you cry.

About a week ago I read online that drinking water was good for you. In addition, as we all know, too much of a good thing is a great thing. Thus, without considering the devastating consequences I started drinking water. Lots of water. About 10 Nalgenes a day full. See, I sit in my room working or sleeping or watching family guy or drinking beer and there is a sink so hey- I can fill my bottle up while moving as few as 3 muscle groups. I basically live in water- call me a fish. Call me Kyle the tuna, or Flounder Kyle. Or Nemo. I even read online that consumption of derisory amounts of water can lead to natural highs until now only attainable to runners, R. Kelly(have u seen his face in the piss on you video?) and drug users. With my trusty nalgene- a bona fide first mate- and an endless supply of H2O I embarked on my journey to dampen my sense of reality through ingestion of nature's piss...i mean tears. Anyway, things have been going grrrrrreat! However, my use of however here should indicate that this story takes a turn for the better...i mean wetter...i mean worse. See, I had grown a nice beard over the past 2 months. But all good things do come to an end and I felt it that day as I woke up- our symbiotic relationship had become parasitic- it had to go. 30 Minutes later I wondered who that sexy man in the mirror was. What better to way to celebrate than with a refreshing glass of water? Ahh sooooo gooood. But before to long that familiar feeling was sneaking up on me again- I was going to have to piss. What you may not now is this equation, dubbed KyleandMikesandMattsandGrahamsandPaulsandreallyeveryguy's sum. Add 1 part single room, 1 part sink, 1 part 'bathroom a long way away' and 4 parts laziness and what do you have? A sink that doubles as a toilet! But, while relieving myself I realized there was a big problem- it wasn't going down! Blast! My bearded sink refused to drain. I was crushed. Later I had a conversation with graham that went something like this:

Me: my sink doens't drain anymore, my life is over.
Graham: that sucks. do you have any nair? or a plunger? How about draino?
Me: I think liquid plummer foaming pipe snake would work best in this situation.

So if you have any of those, you know, let me use some.