No intro needed, it's beer blog number 2.
Beer 1, 7:12
Seth says "Remember in 2nd grade when the teacher said if you're only going to learn some of the alphabet learn the vowels?". With that in mind we're watching wheel of fortune. College edition. Guy from Emory looks gay. Probably is. The title is 'name' or some shit and he has it looking like act_r v_nce v__g_n so it's pretty obvious who it is. he spins. and guesses a U! A fucking U! And Pat is just like, uh, and then the Emory guy is all like OMG OMG and the next person gets it. Awesome. Don't be an idiot. This is going to get good eventually, I promise.
Beer 2, 7:36
Slow, I know. jeopardy got us distracted. and starrs fambily which is all here for some reason i do not know the reason. i'm not feeling particularly inspired tonight which is unfortunate. i guess i'll use beer to boost my moral/mental capacity and come up with some more shit that'll blow your minds. earlier today while listening to dj tiesto, some crazy techno dude, i decided that i like techno. however i think i'd need ecstasy to actually dance to it. right now i am getting some bob and sway going but that is mainly due to not eating much for dinner (tuna sandwich) and the lines of coke i did earlier. cocaine IS a helluva drug. Also, I saw some of the worst commercials i've ever seen tonight. I promise faithful followers do not desert me, for more beer will soon be infesting my judgement and laughter will ensue. I am going bowling in 1 hour and 20 minutes. My over/under is 280 for 2 games, and I'm going over. It's going to be a good nght (i just hope I dont get tested for performance enhancing bud light).
Beer 3, 7:57
It's slow going but the life of a pimp is never easy (thus, pimping aint easy (however college girls are (and that's easy e, which makes 3 easies))) So guys, fall is here and I think it's here to stay this year. No more spring and summer. Just eternal misery. SO that's cool. The real question is where do I get a pumpkins because I have a cool pumpking carving kit. I figure I'll make a great pumpking carving, the likes of which have never been seen. I'll get national recognition, a holiday (no school, duh) and probably greeting cards- haven't decided. But wht really concerns me is Europe. Do you think they'll be ready for my pumpkin carving tour? I'm afraid they'd rather be pompous and drunk than really care about what interests me, and so many others. Our generation is just misunderstood. I've been conditioned not to have feelings, especially for pumpkins. But I still do. Does that make me a loser? A freak? WHy am I different than everyone else? I guess I just like it when the leaves change and i can see my breath. It reminds me to Breathe.
8:16 Beer four
You know how they have camel back things for water? what if they had them for piss! You wouldn't drink it though, it would store your urine so you could just relieve yourself whenever you wanted and it would be stored there in a no smellthrough bag so no one knew you were carrying urine. I say this because I have to piss and the alst time i used my window it was a terrible experience, being on the second floor and all. But I, as Michael says roughly every email ever, digress. To my beer pong skills. Many people (read:most) know me as the 'kid who never lost' which sounds like the title to a matt chistopher book. which brings up a point: we have had skateboard and snowboard movies. and dance movies. and bring it on and movies staring the rock. When will there be a beer pong movie and should I play myself or have zach braff do it (because he is awesome on scrubs. garden state sucked you depresedded stupid fucking hippie). I think I'll do it, and I'll do my own stunts (drink the beeeeer). But we'll go play now and I'll be back in a few minuts and write a post about how my time spent playing beer pong over the past few years has really improved my vocbaulary since i keep coming up with new and inventive ways to say i made you cry with my expert play .
8;41 Beer 5, 1-0 in beer pong (but was it even necessary to say that? shoudn't it be assumed?)
How long, how long, will I win? Probabyl for ever since i have beeb called the second coming of Myself (think about it.) So we're going to bowling where i'll continue my dominance of ball sports. i have my own bowling ball but i dont use it because i dont want to tipmy hat and let everyone know that i am the big kyleoski/dudeerino who only bowls perfect games. id rather they learn the hard way- bet me a pizza. but when mike i and did that he somehow (most likely a rufie) got me drunk ad he won (fucking cheating im sure) and i had to pay for the pizza and it wasn't even good! the audacity of a pizza to be greasy AND gross. it's like come on. and really why ont? oh and did you see southpark last night? this season has been great IHNNAG (acronym) and i suggst you watch them. and scrubs also just to piss megan off here is a hot chick.
So it is now 11:19 and we had 4 pitchers at bowling. what des that mean? that i rooled about 300 and you guys owe me money. I am also fat and i poured chocolate sauce into my ice cream container and am now eting out of it. and i wish it was last year and megan was waiting for me but i took that for granted and now she is on her floor somewhere in arizona painting an abstract painting that i dont consider art but thats ok since shes happy (oh wait she isnt and should come to tacoma instead? weird. but ok, that its no more about how she should be here and not there i swear).
so i think its time to drink more or something. but what little brain i have left is frozen by the ice cream im eating too fast.
