All the true gangstas know, kyle ain't never loved no ho

Funny exchange from the Puyallup fair. It goes a little somethin' like this. Drop a beat!

uh

I was at some booth where they were having a drawing for a grill. They also had a large bucket of candy. I went over and struck up a conversation with the woman working, you know, about how long until they notify me that I won. She thought I was funny. And we can assume cute. As I drop my entry slip into the box Seth tells me that the company that is giving away the grill (some windows and siding group) is just going to call me and try to get me to buy their product. I tell him it doesn't matter, since I used a fake phone number. The women is appalled by this and asks me how I plan to win without using my real number. I tell her I dont, grab some candy, and walk away. Seth and Drew laugh as they say 'you went through all that trouble for a piece of candy'?

I guess you had to be there.

But girl you gotta understand the modern man must hustle

So you know how when you're drunk so often times do stupid things, things you would never consent to if you were sober and sensible? Like cheating on your girlfriend or eating way too much Taco Bell? Well last night a far worse fate befell me. Let me take you back. We were playing beer pong and if memory/arrogance serves I was winning. Out of nowhere Chuck popped the question that would change the course of life i was destined to fly. "Want to run a marathon?" Well shiiit. I run a few miles a few times a day. I'm a physical specimen. I can do anything right? I'm drunk. A resounding "hell yes" was my response and the deed was done. No amount of hangover medicine was going to cure this 26.2 mile headache i'd agreed to. It was sometime between the hours of 1am-11am when I was sleeping that I hoped and cried out to God Creed style that he couldn't do this to me. Yes I was drunk but we all make mistakes, why should this happen to me? My years of sleeping in Church paid off when he answered my calls. The Seattle Marathon was over Thanksgiving! We couldn't do it- we won't be here!! Ok so we decided to do a half marathon in Olympia the weekend before Halloween. Spooooky! But I got that shit on dubs.

Also here is a story since i find my life to be interesting and amazing. I had to eat 4 subs from Quiznos in a week, which sounded like a challenge to me, in order to get a free sub. So I did it- in 3 days! Immediately after that I swore off Quiznos forever so a week later I was ready to claim my prize. I grabbed the razor scooter (which was more trouble than it was worth) and scooted? down to the Big Q. I decided i'd get the most expensive sub- the double angus steak, since it was going to be FREE FITTY. So I walked all the way home since I couldn't scoot with a sub in my hand out of fear that i'd wreck, and i'm getting looks from awesome t-locs like 'damn, he must be such a baller to buy the double angus steak, that's hella expensive.' I get home, pour me some milk, take a bite...an gag. It was fucking gross. I ate half of it and threw the rest away. God damn it. And the night only got worse - I saw a movie called "Red Eye" in which I repeatedly thrusted the pointed end of my keys into my eyes and ears as an effort to disable the means of which it was invading my body and stirring suicidal thoughts. Fucking shit it was bad and long but alas, it ended and I was free! Free to come home and get freaked the fuck out- thanks.

working on leaving the living

i've done some things that i've sort of regret about now.

and now.
and now.
and now.

and now.

i've done some things that i want to forget, but i can't.
sometimes i'm so full of shit that it should be a crime.